Building Walls of Self-Control: Why Boundaries Matter for the Development of a Child

Reflecting on the quote prompts the question of why a person lacking self-control is compared to a city without walls. To gain a better understanding, let us consider the historical context in which cities were constructed with walls for protection against external threats such as invading enemies and wild animals. These walls acted as formidable barriers that made it difficult for attackers to enter. Drawing parallels to the modern world, it would be like living in a house without doors or windows, leaving one exposed to the elements of nature, at risk of losing valuable items and property, susceptible to insecurity, and so on. This is the situation in which children are placed if they do not develop self-control. They become vulnerable to harm, exploitation, poor decision-making, and being taken advantage of by others.

Similar to a house with doors and windows or a city with walls, it is essential to establish boundaries and help children set personal boundaries that will protect them from potential harm. Simple boundaries such as sitting still and finishing a meal before moving around, not allowing phones in the room or after 8 pm, limiting chocolate consumption, and screen time can help build self-control. Today, children face constant attacks from media, advertising, games, food, and peer pressure, and without boundaries to help them say “no” or “not now,” their vulnerability to harm or exploitation increases.

Therefore, it is crucial to set boundaries today and teach your child to set boundaries based on values and long-term goals. By doing so, you can help your child develop self-control, enabling your child to make informed decisions that will lead to a more successful and fulfilling life.