Integrity

Integrity is a personal choice that entails doing the right thing for the right reasons. It involves an unwavering commitment to consistent behaviours based on moral, ethical, spiritual, and artistic values, and principles.

Instilling integrity in your child is essential as it significantly influences their character and behaviour. The impact of integrity on your child extends far beyond simply doing what is right; it includes understanding the consequences of unethical behaviours, making positive decisions that affect those around them, fostering healthy relationships, and leading to a happy and fulfilling life.

However, in today’s world, integrity often seems to be in short supply, as evidenced by news reports of prominent figures losing their integrity through dishonesty, fraud, deceit, bullying, or infidelity. This poses a challenge to instilling integrity in your child, urging them to stand up and act for what is right despite societal trends that may project the opposite.

To have integrity, your child must learn to be truthful and honest in all dealings, both with others and with themselves. This means doing the right thing even when no one is looking. Children are like sponges and soak up what they see, hear, and learn, implying that teaching your child integrity should start early on.

Integrity is not just about adhering to externally imposed values based on societal norms; it is a state of mind driven by internal values. Despite societal pressures and peer influences, your child must learn to uphold their beliefs and act ethically. This involves being truthful and honest in all interactions, even when no one is watching. Children absorb behaviours from their surroundings, emphasizing the importance of teaching integrity from an early age.

To assist your child in developing integrity, consider the following strategies:

• Value-Centred Living: You need to know what you stand for so that your child can also understand these values, as they are more likely to adopt beliefs they see modelled by their parents. Begin by identifying the virtues and moral beliefs that matter most to you and narrow them down to your top three. These should become your personal value code, which you should guide your child to develop as well. For people of faith, loving God and loving their neighbours as themselves can serve as a good starting point. Your child should be able to name the values you believe in and theirs without prompting.
• Lead By Example: Model integrity in your own behaviour. Children learn best by observing, so strive to act with integrity in all aspects of your life. While your child might not always understand the complexities of life, they will have a simple understanding of right and wrong, making them easily aware of the hypocrisy trap of “Do as I say, not as I do.” Avoid hypocrisy by aligning your actions with your words and values.
• Share Your Beliefs and Take Stands: Engage in open discussions with your child about values and ethics. Use everyday situations as teaching moments to explain your beliefs and reasoning. Encourage your child to stand up for their beliefs and make decisions based on their values, even in the face of opposition. Look for teaching moments and discuss them as they arise, whether from TV shows, news items, or situations at home, school, or with friends. Share how you feel about these issues and why they are important. Remember to be ready to explain your values at any time, emphasizing the “why” behind your guidance.
• Stand Firm on Values: Encourage your child to stand up for what they believe in and reinforce assertiveness over compliance. Teach them to speak up for themselves and make decisions based on their values, even if they are the only dissenting voice in the room. Strong convictions are a hallmark of an honest person. Acknowledge that it takes real moral strength to go against peer pressure and stick up for their beliefs. Teach assertive skills so they can confidently take the right stand when confronted with a moral dilemma. Encourage them to stand tall, look others in the eye, say no firmly, and articulate their reasons why.
• Cultivate a Self-Check Habit: Teach your child to evaluate their actions against their values regularly. Encourage self-reflection by asking questions designed to assess their integrity in various situations. Guide them to recognize and rectify instances where they may have acted contrary to their values.

Raising your child to become a person of integrity will not “just happen.” It requires intentional modelling and teaching, as integrity is derived through a process of cultural socialization that begins at home and influences all spheres of a child’s life. In conclusion, nurturing integrity in your child requires deliberate effort and consistency. By modelling integrity, engaging in open communication, and encouraging self-reflection, you can instil in your child a strong sense of ethics and moral values. Remember that integrity is cultivated through practice and learning from mistakes, and as a parent or guardian, your role is crucial in shaping your child’s character and behaviour.